Share photos and videos, send messages and get updates. Long time ago I used to have a life until someone told me to create a Facebook account. You’re born free, then you’re taxed to death. Ramener un peu de gaité. See more of Statut Pub Original on Facebook. Please pray for me. Stop advertising your relationship on Facebook. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. Our Facebook status messages help to appear interesting so, make your fb status different from the others. The only reason why 30 guys liked your picture is that they can see right down your shirt. 103K likes. Stay safe, eat cake. 9 out of 10 voices in my head say that I’m crazy. Got a problem with me? Find a funny Facebook status to use for yourself. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you. Oh, you’re popular on Facebook? Go home and love your family. Here we have compiled some of the best and humorous quotes as the new funny status that you will love to post on your Facebook profile. Funny Facebook Status: This is the best ever post of Funny Facebook Status for all the Facebook users out there. Not everyone has good taste. If people are talking behind your back, then just fart. Ready made material is available here. Turn around. I’m going to invent a new pill called Niagra that stops erections. I hate it when my body decides to get sick. You always need a Facebook status that everyone will like. The lesson is, never try. If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator? Si vous en avez marre des statuts chialeurs et tristes ! I mean, these days it’s easy to have 1,500 friends that you’ve never met before. My relationship is like an iPad. Sometimes I wish life was like facebook, you can delete anyone off your page and go back and delete everything you have said and done! Log into Facebook to start sharing and connecting with your friends, family, and people you know. If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer…. But I do have the biggest heart to love you with. Can’t stand me? Some people need to realize that Facebook is a social network, not a diary. His father ran a dentists out of the hou… Boys use Photoshop to show their creativity. Girls use Photoshop to look beautiful. Ready made material is available here. Sharing the sad feelings can reduce the burden of heart, share sad status on facebook to let your friends know that you are feeling sad. Facebook is showing information to help you better understand the purpose of a Page. Commenting on best status quotes fills the day with fun. It is a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others. I want to make my name on Facebook ‘Nobody’. Single is not a status. Prior to Facebook, Sheryl was vice president of Global Online Sales and Operations at Google, chief of staff for the United States Treasury Department under President Clinton, a management consultant with McKinsey & Company, and an economist with the World Bank. You don’t have to like me, I’m not a Facebook status. If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook. If you ever get an email about pork, ham, salt, and preservatives, don’t open it. Apart from using funny Facebook status updates, you can also post clever ones. If I don’t log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must’ve kidnapped me! My neighbors are listening to great music. I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you. Solve it. Log In. Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have the film. The best funny status ideas and updates. … Now read without the word dog. The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream. The tenth is humming. It didn’t take long for his skills to become apparent. Statut Pub - Original. I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven’t pooped it out yet. 3.1K likes. Statut pub original, Pinon, Picardie, France. I think I’m gonna take a hot shower. It’s spam. An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough. Facebook is kind of like a prison. La page est mise à jours régulièrement ! Because no great story started with someone eating a salad. Here we keep adding the best facebook status ever and quotes. Who needs television when you have so much drama on Facebook. If you send me a friend request on Facebook and your profile picture is a car, I will assume you’re a transformer. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Create an account or log into Facebook. Accept who you are. Originally designed for college students, Facebook was created in 2004 by Mark Zuckerberg while he was enrolled at Harvard University. Whenever you need some funny Facebook status lines to make funny Facebook posts or funny status updates these funny Facebook quotes will help you the most. If your relationship status says, “It’s complicated” then you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single”. I know what you’re doing right now… You’re reading on my wall, Right! Not Now. Adding you as my friend doesn’t mean I like you, I did it just to increase my friend list. We all know you’re doing it for attention and we all know that you’ll be back! I won’t block you or delete you. © 2019, fbstatuses123.com All Rights Reserved. I have also been told that I am beyond cure. Whenever you want to post a Facebook status for your profile picture, selfie captions, videos or making funny Facebook posts, make it sure to be creative to choose something interesting and clever or funny. When he was 11, his parents hired a software developer named David Newman to tutor him. 12K likes. Search random posts or submit your own. Make your facebook page interesting every day with a best facebook status. It’s okay if you don’t like me. That awkward moment when you change your Facebook status to “Single” and your ex likes it. If I should arrive before I get back, please ask me to wait. Life is short, smile while you still have teeth. If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for 8 years, you can believe in yourself for 5 minutes. Roses are red, Facebook is blue, No mutual friends, Who the hell are you? Page Transparency See More. Save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain. 514 likes. May only be used for personal use. Children in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children! I don’t have an iPad. Community See All. Avoir une opinion implique de penser à une position concernant la prémisse ou le concept. amusons-nous à partager le délire parce que NOUS, nous savons! I’ve officially been diagnosed with OFCD (Obsessive Facebook Checking Disorder). Over the years, Facebook has released new apps on a variety of different operating systems, launched a dedicated website interface, and … Sometimes I drink water – just to surprise my liver. Enjoy on this social platform with your friends living near or far. Sometimes I sleep more than 9 hours in one go. Make your facebook page interesting every day with a best facebook status. So enjoy your life with your friends! It is possible to communicate an important message without necessarily using too many words. Think I’m tripping? I don’t have the prettiest face for you to see or the skinniest waist for you to hold. Alcohol doesn’t solve any problem, but neither does milk. By these you can share your thinking with your friends. 37 talking about this. ‎Fuck عاالم‎ See more of Statut original on Facebook I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones… that’s why it’s called a “cell” phone. Les meilleurs statuts Facebook . Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. STATUT PUB. I’m really scared, you guys. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that. If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to the height of your ego and jump down to your IQ level. FaceBookStatus123 is the place to read best Facebook status messages. If you can fake that, you’re in. But I don’t really mind. It’s a good way to connect with your friends. It’s like a normal shower but with me in it. 747 people follow this. People who smile while they are alone used to be called insane until we invented smartphones and social media. Honesty is the key to a relationship. or. Create New Account. I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. I’m jealous of my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as them. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back. Community. I did the math. Whether they like it or not. So I poked her. Enjoy! Cela implique que la personne doit penser, organiser les mots et donner l’apparence d’une structure qui exprime une idée ou une opinion. je fait que des stutut pub et des avis de photo Do not argue with an idiot. Worst transformer ever. It was founded by Mark Zuckerberg with his college roommates and fellow Harvard University students Eduardo Saverin, Andrew McCollum, Dustin Moskovitz and Chris Hughes. It’s time to be famous around your Facebook community as well give a reason to your friends and followers to have a good laugh by posting a hilarious facebook status. Facebook is a social networking service launched as TheFacebook on February 4, 2004. You can use them as funny DP caption, funny text, hilarious Facebook posts even as funny Facebook comments or Facebook story. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. Whenever you need some funny Facebook status lines to make funny Facebook posts or funny status updates these funny Facebook quotes will help you the most. Les meilleurs statuts pour profil. FaceBookStatus123 is the place to read best Facebook status messages. Mark Zuckerberg took the first steps of his path at an early age. Thanks to Facebook, I now know what everyone’s bathroom looks like! Alcohol! Facebook is where hypocrisy, falseness, double standards, rumors, and depression meet up for coffee. Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. Clever Facebook status. Connect with friends, family and other people you know. This generator is in no way associated with Facebook. When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark. According to my mirror I am pregnant. Funny Facebook Status: This is the best ever post of Funny Facebook Status for all the Facebook users out there. Can’t face me? Of course I have a talent. Facebook is a social networking site that makes it easy for you to connect and share with family and friends online. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. The kids next door challenged me to a water balloon fight. Statut family. ColorMag is magazine style responsive WordPress theme made for simplicity and ease of use. ‎جميع اشياء‎ Facebook is showing information to help you better understand the purpose of a Page. Commenting on best status quotes fills the day with fun. I see food, and I eat it. May You Need : Funny Jokes for Facebook Post. Originally developed as Facebook Chat in 2008, the company revamped its messaging service in 2010, and subsequently released standalone iOS and Android apps in August 2011. 15+ Different Unique Demos for any kind of magazine sites. I don’t have a girlfriend. “Yep, gravity still works!”. I always take life with a grain of salt …plus a slice of lemon …and a shot of tequila. All of this funny Facebook status and funny Facebook quotes has a variety of use. If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. I’m wondering why logging onto Facebook has become a part of the everyday routine?… Do I really have nothing better to do! A Facebook status is a feature that allows users to post and share a small amount of content on their profile, on their friends' walls and in Facebook news feeds. 101K likes. Weather forecast for tonight: Dark with a chance of tomorrow in the morning. Dernière mise à jour le 6 septembre 2019 à 10:08 par Jean-François Pillou. What can you do to promote world peace? In its new-found spirit of transparency, Facebook is publishing its internal Community Guidelines and is introducing an appeals process for users … The father is Nutella. This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! Quick Replies are failing to render on Messenger & Instagram across all clients. Light travels faster than sound. Within a couple of years, Zuckerberg created an incredibly practical programme: ZuckNet. Statut original. Quitting Facebook is the new adult version of running away from home. First rule of Sundays: If you can’t reach it from your couch, you don’t need it. Delete me, Poke me, Like me, Limit me … The choice is yours … Welcome to Facebook, where no one is really your friend. Status quo definition is - the existing state of affairs. I’m just updating my status while waiting for the water to boil. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. You can change ANYTHING, use emoticons and even upload your own profile photos for post and comments. Nerd flirting: I wish I could select all of your clothes and press delete. Sheryl Sandberg is chief operating officer at Facebook, overseeing the firm's business operations. pratiquement tout les jours.Un petit "j'aime" en contribution merci :) That way you can successfully make a good copy of facebook that will look exactly alike the original. Facebook is asking, ‘What’s on your mind?’ but I think ‘Who’s on your mind?’ is a better question. Facebook Messenger could soon automatically tell your closest friends you’re at the gym, driving or in Tokyo. Build your own fake Facebook Status and prank your friends. About See All. In modern politics, even the leader of the free world needs help from the sultan of Facebookistan. Status, Captions & Quotes for Facebook, Whatsapp & Instagram. I’m really good in bed. A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. Facebook Messenger is an instant messaging service and software application. So enjoy your life with your friends! Perfectly choosing the status for Facebook is really important to make a bang on your Facebook profile. Also, you can use these funny Facebook statuses for your selfies, profile pictures and funny Caption for Facebook. Créer du contenu original (même aussi minime qu’un statut Facebook) est difficile. The slogan will be: “Viagra Rises, Niagra Falls! As long as cocoa beans grow on trees, chocolate is fruit to me. Saturday, September 22, 2012. I’d really post your name here every minute if Facebook keeps on asking me what’s on my mind. Come over to the dark side…we’ve got candy. Facebook is showing information to help you better understand the purpose of a Page. I’ve gone out to find myself. I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. Facebook is a good way to connect with your friends and family living at far off places. My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room. They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. Clearly understanding the importance of coding, Zuckerberg’s father Edward taught him Atari BASIC computer programming. Never challenge a guy to an arm-wrestling match who’s been single for more than 6 months. Facebook should have a “No One Cares” button. I’m sorry that I’m not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Tie my shoes. A user's Facebook status may be updated using the "Update Status" bar that appears at the top of the user's homepage and profile page. Travel the world until your Facebook’s check-ins finished! ... http://facebook-statuts.blogspot.com I am on a seafood diet. Copier-Coller les statuts facebook/tweets les plus originaux, droles et insolites ! Need something cool to say because you just slipped and fell? So when I see someone post something stupid I can like it, and it will say ‘Nobody Likes This’. Sit back down. That’s cool. I say, anyone can catch your eye but it takes someone special like me to catch your heart. Statut original, ‎المحمدية‎. My ex-girlfriend’s status said suicidal and standing on the edge. You can get the best status facebook to share it on your facebook profile. I’m going to open a new Facebook account named ‘Anonymous’ so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me! I’d rather check my Facebook than face my checkbook. Penser est difficile. How to use status quo in a sentence. Quotes et statut algerian | See more about تصميمي, ﻋﺮﺑﻲ and كﻻم I’m keeping you there so you will be able to see how happy I am without you. 691 people like this. The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. Funny status ideas. Seems I died in 1543. There is a lot of information online about this process, so take some time to investigate before you try the phishing method in order to hack facebook account online now. I love being married. Funny Barney Stinson Facebook Updates Statuses ... knows it's hot when when the geese in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra crispy." Je vous propose de découvrir plus 50 statuts Facebook drôles et comiques qui vont faire délirer vos amis à coup sûr. I might as well call you Google because you have everything that I am looking for. Forgot account? I was s*exually harassed at work by my boss. All graphical material is protected by the copyright owner. 30 funny Facebook status updates 1) This student should get an extended deadline for their brutal honesty, and the teacher who posted the status should maybe shave his mustache. Kiss me and you will see how important I am. Facebook is like the prison, you write on walls and get poked by people you don’t know. Newman to this day calls Zuckerberg a “prodigy”. The Poke option is okay, but when is Facebook going to come out with a Punch option? Funny Status Messages - Funny Tweets & Funny Captions, 100+ Caption For Friends - Touchy, Funny and Best Friend Captions, Funniest WhatsApp Status - Short & Funny Quotes for WhatsApp, 100 King Status and King Captions in English, Swag Bio for Instagram – Short, Classy & Trendy, One Word Caption – Best Single Word Captions, Birthday Captions for Yourself – Happy Birthday To Myself. If you had to decide between a diet and a piece of chocolate, would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate? The Collection of Funny Facebook Status Updates The world's greatest collection of Funny Facebook status updates. I’m self-employed. A broad smile is a cooler way of showing your enemies that you have teeth. I made my Facebook name “Benefits,” so when you add me now it says “you’re friends with benefits.”. Enjoy on this social platform with your friends living near or far. Unless you’re a serial killer. 244 likes. Not everyone wants to see you happy. ‎ليس كُل ﻣآ أكتبه حِكآيهٌ عَنْ وآقعيٌ إنمَآ هِيَ ( كلِمَآتٌ ) رآقَتٌ لِيً ♥ وقدَ ﯾـحتَآجھَآ غِيري‎ You spend all day staring at walls and getting poked by people you don’t know.