Facebook should have a “No One Cares” button. I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. Alcohol! If you send me a friend request on Facebook and your profile picture is a car, I will assume you’re a transformer. May You Need : Funny Jokes for Facebook Post. ... http://facebook-statuts.blogspot.com Turn around. Stop advertising your relationship on Facebook. Log In. Nerd flirting: I wish I could select all of your clothes and press delete. Funny status ideas. That awkward moment when you change your Facebook status to “Single” and your ex likes it. Need something cool to say because you just slipped and fell? Travel the world until your Facebook’s check-ins finished! Within a couple of years, Zuckerberg created an incredibly practical programme: ZuckNet. I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones… that’s why it’s called a “cell” phone. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that. About See All. The Collection of Funny Facebook Status Updates The world's greatest collection of Funny Facebook status updates. The kids next door challenged me to a water balloon fight. My relationship is like an iPad. Make your facebook page interesting every day with a best facebook status. Community. Our Facebook status messages help to appear interesting so, make your fb status different from the others. If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for 8 years, you can believe in yourself for 5 minutes. Connect with friends, family and other people you know. Funny Status Messages - Funny Tweets & Funny Captions, 100+ Caption For Friends - Touchy, Funny and Best Friend Captions, Funniest WhatsApp Status - Short & Funny Quotes for WhatsApp, 100 King Status and King Captions in English, Swag Bio for Instagram – Short, Classy & Trendy, One Word Caption – Best Single Word Captions, Birthday Captions for Yourself – Happy Birthday To Myself. 3.1K likes. How to use status quo in a sentence. Children in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children! Facebook is asking, ‘What’s on your mind?’ but I think ‘Who’s on your mind?’ is a better question. Weather forecast for tonight: Dark with a chance of tomorrow in the morning. Funny Facebook Status: This is the best ever post of Funny Facebook Status for all the Facebook users out there. I made my Facebook name “Benefits,” so when you add me now it says “you’re friends with benefits.”. ColorMag is magazine style responsive WordPress theme made for simplicity and ease of use. It is a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others. A broad smile is a cooler way of showing your enemies that you have teeth. It’s spam. I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you. You don’t have to like me, I’m not a Facebook status. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back. Saturday, September 22, 2012. Statut pub original, Pinon, Picardie, France. Mark Zuckerberg took the first steps of his path at an early age. His father ran a dentists out of the hou… Not Now. Status, Captions & Quotes for Facebook, Whatsapp & Instagram. If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. Build your own fake Facebook Status and prank your friends. Facebook Messenger could soon automatically tell your closest friends you’re at the gym, driving or in Tokyo. The best funny status ideas and updates. 747 people follow this. Some people need to realize that Facebook is a social network, not a diary. 103K likes. A user's Facebook status may be updated using the "Update Status" bar that appears at the top of the user's homepage and profile page. or. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. My ex-girlfriend’s status said suicidal and standing on the edge. All graphical material is protected by the copyright owner. Log into Facebook to start sharing and connecting with your friends, family, and people you know. If you had to decide between a diet and a piece of chocolate, would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate? Perfectly choosing the status for Facebook is really important to make a bang on your Facebook profile. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. Copier-Coller les statuts facebook/tweets les plus originaux, droles et insolites ! Enjoy! Ready made material is available here. The father is Nutella. It’s okay if you don’t like me. pratiquement tout les jours.Un petit "j'aime" en contribution merci :) It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. I’m keeping you there so you will be able to see how happy I am without you. If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook. Boys use Photoshop to show their creativity. If I don’t log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must’ve kidnapped me! It was founded by Mark Zuckerberg with his college roommates and fellow Harvard University students Eduardo Saverin, Andrew McCollum, Dustin Moskovitz and Chris Hughes. Prior to Facebook, Sheryl was vice president of Global Online Sales and Operations at Google, chief of staff for the United States Treasury Department under President Clinton, a management consultant with McKinsey & Company, and an economist with the World Bank. Share photos and videos, send messages and get updates. By these you can share your thinking with your friends. Funny Facebook Status: This is the best ever post of Funny Facebook Status for all the Facebook users out there. My neighbors are listening to great music. Statut original, ‎المحمدية‎. I know what you’re doing right now… You’re reading on my wall, Right! Facebook is showing information to help you better understand the purpose of a Page. Avoir une opinion implique de penser à une position concernant la prémisse ou le concept. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. You spend all day staring at walls and getting poked by people you don’t know. Quick Replies are failing to render on Messenger & Instagram across all clients. Sometimes I sleep more than 9 hours in one go. It’s like a normal shower but with me in it. If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator? There is a lot of information online about this process, so take some time to investigate before you try the phishing method in order to hack facebook account online now. Search random posts or submit your own. Do not argue with an idiot. My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room. The lesson is, never try. Accept who you are. Si vous en avez marre des statuts chialeurs et tristes ! Can’t face me? In modern politics, even the leader of the free world needs help from the sultan of Facebookistan. 30 funny Facebook status updates 1) This student should get an extended deadline for their brutal honesty, and the teacher who posted the status should maybe shave his mustache. Not everyone has good taste. Penser est difficile. I hate it when my body decides to get sick. When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark. Quitting Facebook is the new adult version of running away from home. But I do have the biggest heart to love you with. Cela implique que la personne doit penser, organiser les mots et donner l’apparence d’une structure qui exprime une idée ou une opinion. Who needs television when you have so much drama on Facebook. Facebook is a good way to connect with your friends and family living at far off places. It’s time to be famous around your Facebook community as well give a reason to your friends and followers to have a good laugh by posting a hilarious facebook status. I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon. Girls use Photoshop to look beautiful. This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! Here we have compiled some of the best and humorous quotes as the new funny status that you will love to post on your Facebook profile. … Now read without the word dog. Originally designed for college students, Facebook was created in 2004 by Mark Zuckerberg while he was enrolled at Harvard University. I don’t have an iPad. Honesty is the key to a relationship. If I should arrive before I get back, please ask me to wait. Go home and love your family. According to my mirror I am pregnant. Got a problem with me? This is why some people appear bright until they speak. Clever Facebook status. Adding you as my friend doesn’t mean I like you, I did it just to increase my friend list. Make your facebook page interesting every day with a best facebook status. 9 out of 10 voices in my head say that I’m crazy. So I poked her. Facebook is kind of like a prison. A Facebook status is a feature that allows users to post and share a small amount of content on their profile, on their friends' walls and in Facebook news feeds. If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer…. I want to make my name on Facebook ‘Nobody’. I’m sorry that I’m not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. amusons-nous à partager le délire parce que NOUS, nous savons! Enjoy on this social platform with your friends living near or far. I have also been told that I am beyond cure. So enjoy your life with your friends! I’d rather check my Facebook than face my checkbook. Facebook is like the prison, you write on walls and get poked by people you don’t know. ‎Fuck عاالم‎ See more of Statut original on Facebook FaceBookStatus123 is the place to read best Facebook status messages. STATUT PUB. Also, you can use these funny Facebook statuses for your selfies, profile pictures and funny Caption for Facebook. Statut Pub - Original. Roses are red, Facebook is blue, No mutual friends, Who the hell are you? Sit back down. 12K likes. Commenting on best status quotes fills the day with fun. Ramener un peu de gaité. Newman to this day calls Zuckerberg a “prodigy”. Kiss me and you will see how important I am. 691 people like this. That’s cool. If people are talking behind your back, then just fart. Delete me, Poke me, Like me, Limit me … The choice is yours … Welcome to Facebook, where no one is really your friend. Think I’m tripping? Over the years, Facebook has released new apps on a variety of different operating systems, launched a dedicated website interface, and … You can change ANYTHING, use emoticons and even upload your own profile photos for post and comments. If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to the height of your ego and jump down to your IQ level. Come over to the dark side…we’ve got candy. 244 likes. When he was 11, his parents hired a software developer named David Newman to tutor him. I am on a seafood diet. The tenth is humming. Sheryl Sandberg is chief operating officer at Facebook, overseeing the firm's business operations. Alcohol doesn’t solve any problem, but neither does milk. Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. In its new-found spirit of transparency, Facebook is publishing its internal Community Guidelines and is introducing an appeals process for users … Créer du contenu original (même aussi minime qu’un statut Facebook) est difficile. I mean, these days it’s easy to have 1,500 friends that you’ve never met before. That way you can successfully make a good copy of facebook that will look exactly alike the original. Not everyone wants to see you happy. Statut family. We all know you’re doing it for attention and we all know that you’ll be back! Solve it. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. Because no great story started with someone eating a salad. © 2019, fbstatuses123.com All Rights Reserved. Whether they like it or not. Stay safe, eat cake. Whenever you need some funny Facebook status lines to make funny Facebook posts or funny status updates these funny Facebook quotes will help you the most. Les meilleurs statuts pour profil. 101K likes. You can get the best status facebook to share it on your facebook profile. Unless you’re a serial killer. Tie my shoes. Funny Barney Stinson Facebook Updates Statuses ... knows it's hot when when the geese in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra crispy." Facebook is showing information to help you better understand the purpose of a Page. They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. This generator is in no way associated with Facebook. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. It’s a good way to connect with your friends. I’m really good in bed. The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. La page est mise à jours régulièrement ! So enjoy your life with your friends! Community See All. Page Transparency See More. First rule of Sundays: If you can’t reach it from your couch, you don’t need it. 514 likes. I’m going to invent a new pill called Niagra that stops erections. You’re born free, then you’re taxed to death. Les meilleurs statuts Facebook . Whenever you need some funny Facebook status lines to make funny Facebook posts or funny status updates these funny Facebook quotes will help you the most. As long as cocoa beans grow on trees, chocolate is fruit to me. I’m wondering why logging onto Facebook has become a part of the everyday routine?… Do I really have nothing better to do! I don’t have the prettiest face for you to see or the skinniest waist for you to hold. Facebook is a social networking service launched as TheFacebook on February 4, 2004. Oh, you’re popular on Facebook? The only reason why 30 guys liked your picture is that they can see right down your shirt. I’m really scared, you guys. Ready made material is available here. I’m self-employed. Commenting on best status quotes fills the day with fun. It didn’t take long for his skills to become apparent. ‎جميع اشياء‎ Facebook is showing information to help you better understand the purpose of a Page. Can’t stand me? I think I’m gonna take a hot shower. Find a funny Facebook status to use for yourself. If you ever get an email about pork, ham, salt, and preservatives, don’t open it. I say, anyone can catch your eye but it takes someone special like me to catch your heart. I did the math. I’m going to open a new Facebook account named ‘Anonymous’ so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me! Create an account or log into Facebook. I’ve officially been diagnosed with OFCD (Obsessive Facebook Checking Disorder). I don’t have a girlfriend. Here we keep adding the best facebook status ever and quotes. Worst transformer ever. But I don’t really mind. Sometimes I wish life was like facebook, you can delete anyone off your page and go back and delete everything you have said and done! If your relationship status says, “It’s complicated” then you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single”. People who smile while they are alone used to be called insane until we invented smartphones and social media. I always take life with a grain of salt …plus a slice of lemon …and a shot of tequila. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. You always need a Facebook status that everyone will like. The slogan will be: “Viagra Rises, Niagra Falls! May only be used for personal use. Status quo definition is - the existing state of affairs. All of this funny Facebook status and funny Facebook quotes has a variety of use. Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven’t pooped it out yet. I’d really post your name here every minute if Facebook keeps on asking me what’s on my mind. I’m just updating my status while waiting for the water to boil. Long time ago I used to have a life until someone told me to create a Facebook account. Life is short, smile while you still have teeth. ‎ليس كُل ﻣآ أكتبه حِكآيهٌ عَنْ وآقعيٌ إنمَآ هِيَ ( كلِمَآتٌ ) رآقَتٌ لِيً ♥ وقدَ ﯾـحتَآجھَآ غِيري‎ Facebook is a social networking site that makes it easy for you to connect and share with family and friends online. Facebook Messenger is an instant messaging service and software application. The Poke option is okay, but when is Facebook going to come out with a Punch option? 15+ Different Unique Demos for any kind of magazine sites. Je vous propose de découvrir plus 50 statuts Facebook drôles et comiques qui vont faire délirer vos amis à coup sûr. Clearly understanding the importance of coding, Zuckerberg’s father Edward taught him Atari BASIC computer programming. I’ve gone out to find myself. It is possible to communicate an important message without necessarily using too many words. FaceBookStatus123 is the place to read best Facebook status messages. Sharing the sad feelings can reduce the burden of heart, share sad status on facebook to let your friends know that you are feeling sad. “Yep, gravity still works!”. I’m jealous of my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as them. Seems I died in 1543. Please pray for me. Statut original. I won’t block you or delete you. The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream. Single is not a status. See more of Statut Pub Original on Facebook. I might as well call you Google because you have everything that I am looking for. Sometimes I drink water – just to surprise my liver. A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. Forgot account? So when I see someone post something stupid I can like it, and it will say ‘Nobody Likes This’. What can you do to promote world peace? Enjoy on this social platform with your friends living near or far. Light travels faster than sound. I love being married. An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough. Facebook is where hypocrisy, falseness, double standards, rumors, and depression meet up for coffee. Thanks to Facebook, I now know what everyone’s bathroom looks like! Quotes et statut algerian | See more about تصميمي, ﻋﺮﺑﻲ and كﻻم Never challenge a guy to an arm-wrestling match who’s been single for more than 6 months. Whenever you want to post a Facebook status for your profile picture, selfie captions, videos or making funny Facebook posts, make it sure to be creative to choose something interesting and clever or funny. Apart from using funny Facebook status updates, you can also post clever ones. je fait que des stutut pub et des avis de photo Create New Account. If you can fake that, you’re in. Of course I have a talent. Originally developed as Facebook Chat in 2008, the company revamped its messaging service in 2010, and subsequently released standalone iOS and Android apps in August 2011. Dernière mise à jour le 6 septembre 2019 à 10:08 par Jean-François Pillou. 37 talking about this. I was s*exually harassed at work by my boss. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you. You can use them as funny DP caption, funny text, hilarious Facebook posts even as funny Facebook comments or Facebook story. Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have the film. I see food, and I eat it. Save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain.

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